One of my pet peeves is how often people forget to say thank you. I know we’ve all been there. Maybe you sent a quick email to answer a question, did a favor in the real world, held a door open for someone, or any number of things. After all is said and done, the person goes their merry way and we’re left wondering why there wasn’t any acknowledgment. It’s not that people should bow down and pay homage, but a simple little ‘thank you’ can go a long way. Honestly, it doesn’t take long to type or say the words but oftentimes it goes unsaid.

It happens online and in the real world. We just aren’t as polite and respectful as we once were. So, when I went to listen to Peter Shankman, founder of Help A Reporter Out, speak at SXSW, and heard him talk about this very same thing, I loved that he was calling us all out about it. It may seem like a little thing, but it’s not really.

The bulk of Peter’s talk was about how smart self-promoters aren’t out there spamming people with the all too common “I’m great I’m wonderful, I can save your life” type talk. Instead, they’re willing to help others, and as a result they become the type of person who’s looked at as a resource – an expert in their particular field. They respect people enough to understand the 24/7 sales pitch is a real turn off.

Peter also talked about saying ‘thank you.’ It’s all part of being respectful and having manners. It doesn’t take much energy to type out ‘thank you’ and hit the reply button. And it takes even less time to say thank you. So why don’t we do it? Laziness? Disrespect? Too absorbed in watching the world revolve around us? I’m not entirely sure, but we sure as heck don’t do it enough.

With this in mind, I thought I’d try a little experiment – I set up a Facebook page where you can say thank you. You may want to thank your first grade teacher for opening up the world of reading to you. Or maybe you want to thank the guy who let you squeeze into traffic this morning. It doesn’t really matter, just go thank somebody! My hope is that it’ll spark something in each of us and remind us just how important those two little words are, and we’ll all start showing our gratitude a little more often. If we do it enough it’ll become a habit, and what a great habit saying ‘thank you’ could be for all of us.

Now please,  go say ‘Thank You.’

I taught a social media class with @SueRostvold last night and one of the issues that kept coming up was the idea of sharing too much through social networking websites. What we were hearing is that some people are afraid to do anything with social media because they don’t want to reveal too much of their personal life. They don’t want their everyday activities, personal choices, feelings, or secrets to be ‘out there’ for everybody and his brother to read.

I get the same comment from people quite often actually. For people just getting started with social networking, it can be a bit frightening. Stories that we hear on the news about wierdo online stalkers don’t help matters much either.

One of the many cool things about social networking is that there really is no one right way to go about it. Think about your friends in real life. No doubt you have some who, when they walk in a room, are bigger than life and everybody knows they’ve arrived and the party can start! In contrast you may be the type that quietly walks into that very same room and says hello to a few people you know well. What feels right for one person may terrify the heebee jeebies out of another. But the thing is, nobody expects every one to act the same way when they get together in that room. The same is true when it comes to revealing things about yourself online with social networking.

The thing is, you only need to share what you feel comfortable sharing. I usually tell people to set up their account – whether it’s Twitter, Facebook, or whatever – and then ease into it. Just because you go online and have an account on a social media site where people share their drunken images and intimate details, it doesn’t mean you need to. If you feel more comfortable just looking around for a while, then that’s what you should do. When you feel comfortable, say hello to people you know, share an article you found online you think is interesting, or comment on something someone says.

As you learn your way around, you may feel comfortable revealing a little bit more about yourself and find a way to do it that makes sense for you. It’s all up to you.

Technorati Tags: social networking, social media, life online

In the past when someone gave a presentation, some of the things he or she had to compete with were people talking to each other, doodling on their notepads, reading books or magazines, or even some of the audience members taking a nap. Things like this can be extremely annoying for any presenter, but they can usually handle the annoyance and go on with the talk.

Things have changed!

These days speakers have to be on their game and ready for anything. They still have to contend with the usual annoyances mentioned above, but that’s not all. Our culture is so wired these days (and I don’t mean from coffee!) that many times people are Twittering, emailing, texting, Facebooking, or in some other way instantly documenting what the speaker is saying or how he’s saying it. In a very real sense it’s not just the speaker’s show anymore!

At SXSWi this past week, at literally every session I attended people were armed with iPhones, Blackberries, laptops, or cameras. Many of the speakers, especially when there were panels with more than one person, were monitoring the Twitter stream, ready to address comments…good and bad…from audience members as they happened. At times it side-tracked the conversation, and made it apparent the speaker hadn’t intended on going in a certain direction. In most cases though, it didn’t detract from the presentation itself. Instead, it changed the dynamic from an “I’m teaching you” atmosphere to a “we’re learning together” atmosphere. So in that sense the interactivity it created was pretty valuable.

Below are a few examples (positive and negative) I pulled off of Twitter today. One thing to be sure of, people aren’t shy about saying what they think about the speaker’s style or content. It’s all fair game.

I have mixed feelings about pulling out my laptop during a presentation. Instead of the old fashioned pen and paper note-taking I used my laptop, so that part isn’t much different than the many college lectures I attended with notebook in hand. However, during most of the presentations I sat in on at SXSW, I also had Twitter open a fair amount of the time. Even though I was listening to the speakers and taking notes, I have to admit, they didn’t have my full undivided attention. Watching Twitter during the talks did serve a purpose though. I was able to read what others were thinking at nearly the same instant the speaker said something and gain different perspectives on what we’d just heard.

So was watching Twitter during the talks a good thing? A bad thing? I’m not sure. I could probably argue either way, but next time, I may just leave Twitter off, use my laptop to take notes, and do my best to give the speaker my complete attention.

Technorati Tags: social media, presentations, listening

I’ve been attending South by Southwest Interactive (SXSW) this week and  eating, sleeping, and breathing internet and social media.  Yea, I know…that’s nothing new. But the fact that I’ve been doing it (well…all but the sleeping part anyway) with thousands of other people is. SXSW brings people from all over the world together to learn and share about the some of the things that make us tick.

In his talk about video blogging (and way more tha that) on Sunday, Gary Vayrnerchuk made the point that we need to keep legacy vs. currency in mind when we’re putting  ourselves out there. His idea is, and I totally agree, that our work, our lives, shouldn’t be all about the money. Selling ourselves out can have a negative impact, especially if that hunger for money drives us to do things that are contrary to our beliefs. It’s that “to thine own self be true” kinda thing.

For many of us, our lives can pretty much be chronicled, through our blogs, Facebook profiles, or by piecing together little bits we find here and there on many different websites. The thing is, what we put online is likely to be there long after we’re gone. This means our friends and relatives…even our kids and grandkids…may at some point learn things about us that they never knew, and possibly things we wish they wouldn’t learn about us. Do we really want to have them find compromising photos of us, or stories of how we cut throat we were just to make a buck? Some people may not care, but I think the vast majority of us want others to get a good impression of us, whether we’re still here or long gone. So we have to ask ourselves what’s more important? Getting ahead at all costs, living totally in the moment with no thoughts for consequences…or the overall picture of our lives? Just as a painter uses brush strokes to create a masterpiece, we each create our very own life masterpiece, and I’m guessing most of us want it to be a worthwhile picture.

So, with Vayrnerchuk’s legacy vs. currency theory in mind, the internet may be a tool that can help drive us to live better lives…create a better legacy. It’s not that I think having our lives online can turn bad people into good (although I won’t say it can’t). I do think it’s beginning to making us think twice about doing something that may eventually (or instantly!) find its way online. Whether we’re concerned about potential employers, clients, family members, or friends finding less than flattering stories or photos about us online, many of us are probably more likely to fly the straight and narrow rather than getting ourselves into compromising positions.

Not sure who Gary Vaynerchuk is? Check out his blog or his Wine Library site. He totally kicks ass in the motivation department!

Technorati Tags: SXSW, SXSWi, Vayrnerchuk, life online, legacy vs. currency

I had a good friend in college who, when somebody managed to punk him (which was rare!) he’d get a very serious look on his face, point two fingers at his irritant and say, “you’re dead.” For a few seconds everybody went silent…waiting for what was next…then we usually burst out in laughter at the whole situation.

In the online world, it’s not always so easy to understand the intent behind someone’s words. There’s no facial expression, and sometimes no background info, to put the words into context. Here’s an example of a real life situation that happened on Twitter and involved some words that were taken a bit too literally. . .

Those of you who KNOW ME know the relationship I have with my daughters. You know the relationships you have with your children. Loving, frustrated, awed, annoyed, angry, blissful.

Tonight, as always, my evil mini-me did her “not going to sleep without one last hug” routine.

Tonight, as always, I yelled, threatened and cajoled her back into bed.

Tonight, as I’ve done in the past, as other parents have done in many ways, I asked if it was ok to smother her.

Which, if you know me, or anyone with my sense of black humor, is a joke born of frustration, annoyance, and yes, LOVE.

Tonight this woman (link removed because enough is enough), who I foolishly followed on Twitter, who likely doesn’t even know me, had someone in LA call the cops.

Anything you say, can and will be held against you…at least by some people it seems!

Did the woman who made the comment go too far? Or was it the woman who reported the comment? Who knows!

Regardless of who you think went too far, it’s a good example of why it’s important to be mindful of what’s you say online. I’m definitely not the most politically correct person in the world (what fun is that?!) so I understand using expressions that aren’t meant to be taken literally, or even saying something just for the shock value of it. The thing is though, it’s probably not a bad idea to be careful not to say something that’s going to come back and bite you in the butt…or have the cops knocking on your door!

Technorati Tags: Twitter, social media, life online